Not only you reflect the energy of the people around, but also strengthen it. At some point, your overall challenge is to be in the middle of some community and be a canary in a coal mine. You are fickle and because of it and because of misunderstanding you can feel disappointed, sad and bored. You have a bond with a lunar cycle, for example: two days you want to initiate, two days to work, etc. It is very important for you to know your cycle, take advantage of it. You shouldn't be afraid of waiting for 29 days before making a big decision, instead of shifting responsibility onto close friends; clean up inner space and have some time alone. Waiting for a lunar cycle helps you get surprise and excitement in life, which you really need.
There is an apparent emptiness about you, but you are anything but empty by nature. This lack of activity means you are a receiving dish drawing in everyone else's energy and constantly reflecting back to others who they are, what they're about, and what life is about. You absorb and brim over with the qualities and energies you receive from other Human Design types. Someone's defined Heart fills your Heart. Someone's defined Emotions flood your Emotions, and so on and so forth. Nobody is affected by the designs that surround you more than you are. Consequently, this makes you empathetic because, under these conditioning influences, you experience all the passions, fears, thoughts, emotions, and ambitions that are transferred onto you. This makes you, by nature, extremely sensitive, vulnerable, perceptive, and potentially wise, because an innate objectivity allows you to witness the energies passing through you and what they all mean to everyone.
Reflectors reflect, like mirrors. People see themselves in you. This is a gift, but this can also be frustrating because when is someone going to see you? You're no doubt tired of listening to everyone else's achievements and problems, smiling politely and then giving your viewpoint. What about you? The eternal struggle for you is when to engage and when to detach, when to become distracted by others and when to focus on yourself. Reflectors often find themselves being leaned on, absorbing everyone and everything into their lives and not knowing where the boundaries lie. You will find that many people off-load onto you and sound you out. Indeed, this can be burdensome and you may struggle to know your own identity because it's tangled up in the energies you're getting from other people.
You Reflectors cannot escape being impacted by other designs, and it's understandable that you can become overwhelmed, and sometimes deeply disturbed, by the thoughts, chaos, and nonsense of others. No wonder you seek your own solitude, needing to escape for your own sanity — and inner reflection! My advice to you is to understand how impressionable your design is by nature and then learn to disown the energies thrown at you. This is how to transform a conditioning influence into wisdom. Stand back, observe, appreciate what's happening, and reflect back your take on everything. If you do this, others will often seek out your insightful perspective. "You al- ways understand me," "You're always good at working it out for me," and "You always seem to grasp what's going on" are some phrases you might be able to identify with. This is all well and good, provided you filter who gets access to you and who does not.
You need to know when to draw the line and to be disciplined with your time to prevent being swamped. Imagine living in a world where 99 percent of people seem to be power brokers and you're the 1 percent exception to the rule. You're bound to feel different in some way. You're bound to feel like a cork on the ocean, bobbing and bouncing around in the currents and waves of others' lives. Until you learn how to bring stability into your life. Until you learn to reflect and not absorb. So view yourself as the go-between for different people's energies, as if you're passing the ball from one to another, not holding on to it. And with each pass, you can add your detached perspective as a gift of wisdom.
The quiet, wise owl sitting serenely in the corner of a room is likely to be a Reflector, as is the person who wanders off from the crowded picnic to find solace on the riverbank. If you do this, don't be surprised if you find a cluster of Manifestors, Generators, MG types, and Projectors scurrying after you to off-load and then listen to your advice. Just show them your hand and say "no" — you need your time alone.
In times past, Reflectors would often find themselves in hermitages, in the remote countryside, or in spiritual communities, indulging their need for privacy, nature, and solitude. Being at one with nature is what a Reflector's nature is all about! The frenetic pace of life and crowded places tends to freak you out. I also suspect that small social gatherings are your thing, as opposed to manic parties. Such upbeat environments can lead you to go haywire because your type is not de- signed to soak up and sustain the energy coming at you from all directions. Overstimulation to your sensitive being can leave you depleted and disheartened.
The beauty is that once you're removed from the chaos, you find it easier than most to switch off and find a deep place of inner reflection. I always tell Reflectors that having their own space is fundamental to their nature. If it's practical, live in a house with your own wing or lots of garden space, or in a home on its own land. The receiving-dish Reflector finds it uncomfortable, to say the least, living in a center-city apartment block or a crammed housing development where they're impacted by the volatility of modern-day life. When overloaded, stand under a shower to wash away any borrowed burdens; sit in meditation to regain your center.
Basically, a Reflector can be all things to all people, often defying imagination, and, as the above examples illustrate, they are sensitive, perceptive, different, and wise. The one question Reflectors always ask is "If I have no consistent design, how do I find my way through life, and how do I make consistently right decisions without being influenced by everyone else's input?" Well, the recognition of your sensitive, malleable nature is the first step, because this allows you to access the company and environments that resonate with your nature. The second is to understand that the moon is your mainstay, ally and time- keeper. Just as the moon has a regular twenty-nine-day cycle each month, so do you. Other Human Design types experience consistency via active channels and defined centers, but your nature is ever changing because it is largely dependent on where the moon is in the sky. If you watch closely, you will notice that your moods are in exact correlation with wherever the moon is. It will pull you in different directions at different times. This is explored in greater detail for you in the next chapter.
Reflector children are going to impress with their extraordinary grasp of life, seeming wise beyond their years. Yet they are very gentle, sensitive beings who can find themselves over- whelmed by peer pressure to fit in, to be someone other than who they are. The last thing a Reflector child needs is a parent who doesn't understand this social reluctance and says things like, "Go on, what's wrong with you? Join in and play!" In the playground they can quickly feel like the odd one out, swamped by the energies of other types. There is something about re- treating and being alone that appeals to them. It's important for parents to acknowledge this difference and explain that it's not an oddity but a uniqueness. These children will ride the energy of others like a Projector child but can become exhausted far more quickly.
Some Reflector children can appear withdrawn or shut down, unable to cope with life's pace and bombardments. They will tend to re- move themselves from trouble and chaos and will feel at home in more serene environments. So allow them alone time in their bedrooms, just chilling out or listening to music. These kids have a tendency to float through childhood, not tear through it, and adolescence can be quite a trial for them. Nature is a good ally for them, so I would encourage living close to nature and going to parks instead of football games. If you're a Reflector parent, you'll always be stretched to the limit trying to keep up with the boundless energy of your child. So learn to limit your doses of activity, and encourage your child to be more resourceful. Also recognize that the child will grow to appreciate your wisdom — even if that's not always apparent! He or she couldn't have a better teacher in life.
In relationships, Reflectors are very dependent on the clarity and loving-kindness of their partner. There is a complex dichotomy to them in that they need you but then need space away from you. There is a constant shuttling between independence and dependence. And somewhere in the middle of those two natural states lies the balance of their perfect relationship. There is no one more sensitive, vulnerable, yet potentially wise than a Reflector partner.
Reflectors are searching for those people who appreciate their unique nature.
There is an enormous difference between the perspective that a Reflector has on life and that of everyone else. Everybody knows the experience of walking around a garden during the day when sunlight lights the surroundings. But Reflectors know what it's like to walk around that garden by night, when every- thing appears completely different, under moonlight. The moon lights them up and provides their true and unique perspective. Meditation, prayer, and deep solitude will feel good for all Reflectors. If you are one, these will help bring you into your true self. This is a special process unique to you. But then you are a unique being, one of the brightest, most loving, and wisest people on this Earth. With your openness and availability to life, you bring some of the greatest wisdom to the world. If you have a Reflector in your life, know that you have literally found someone special, so honor them and recognize the very particular way they need to live their life.